Sunday, June 30, 2013

The Passionate Dying / B e f o r e


There is a deepness none can forget
Try to follow it with your eyes
But sometimes it just can't be seen...
Like you and I
And the crosses immortalized 
Unlike blood and wine, 
The narcotics reach the veins more gently 
Now clarity is ghost
And the tremble is the human core.

But sometimes it just can't be seen...

Not from young to old
Or reincarnate...
Not from spirit to soul  
 In holy eternity...  

But there is hope,
There is and always will be hope for you

The love of it all. 

The barely living and the passionate dying  

L o v e  O f   I t   A l l 

...

A f t e r  your a slave and work your life away 
What does the rest of life give in return...?
A f t e r  you leave your home 
((All those years)) 
A f t e r the dust has become your ashes 
Become your hiding place to find your truth. 
After the love of your life  
((Always and forever)) 
Gets put to rest... 
And that part of you is within her, missing 
And it just won't ever heal. 

There is a deepness none can forget...

Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Softest Eulogy



T h e   J i l t   O f   M y   H e a r t 

Alter the mind, distill me from reality 
Arrive at the door... the gates of my release 
Please leave a trail of ashes
Leaves of muti-colored beauty   
As heaven rests the softest eulogy...
F e a r  A w a y . . .

T h e   J i l t   O f   M y   H e a r t 

Live to suffer a certain amount... 
But none so far the very soul 
Now trap within the very soul 
For love and lust never united 
My voice runs out various poems from years of writing...

A songbird of the memories almost euphoric
Once you accept the fact that death is death 
And in someway we're all looking for a chance 
To make it meaningful...

T o   N o t   O v e r  T h i n k . 

But what if this is all there is? 
And I can't face the inner conflicts anymore, 
The hurting of others on my behalf 
The haunting tomorrow 
Of something I can't... 
Grasp. 

The chance of losing someone...  
Else...

To lose your hand over my hand in the rain? 
To have not even a pinch of the passion that defines me?
To turn my back on everything, everyone...? 
And the candles all seem to expose that certain level of darkness 
I had once felt in unison of months ago...

As heaven rests the softest eulogy...
F e a r  A w a y . . .

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Love Like Your Rule

I'm not going to watch you take my 
Bloodline away...
Pretend it doesn't matter...
Say you love but love like your rule 
Is as lonely as the walk home...
Or the rainy nights sedated

In the morning the second hand ticks slower 
These were cold streets... 
a l m s   R e s t i n g   O n   P a l m s , 
N a i l s   A g a i n s t   M y   S k i n
Hands ever shaking 
But the match sparks a single flame
Blown out by the wind almost symbolically  

Of the passionate kiss...
But never as so far away close as where my heart longs to stay,

H a s   D i e d .   

... 

I'm not going to watch you take my 
Bloodline away...


Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Remember Forgotten .

N e v e r   T r u s t   I t 
O p e n  H e a r t e d 

One step feels like a stairwell of steps 
The mountains, the poetic nature 
Always an arms length away...
The heartbeats, the romantic essence
Still a shrine of dead flowers 
On the table below the missing page.
CUTOUT, REMOVED 
A high pitch soul on memories hears 
S o n g s   F l o w   S o r r o w ,  R e m e m b e r 
F o r g o t t e n . 

Things we express don't always amount to much,
No matter the piece of your soul you give 
Or the life you think you deserve
No matter what is taken in the end... 
The coldness feels the same.

T h e  C o l d n e s s 

No matter how complicated you think it is...
It's simple when you just don't consider...

What all of this suffering truly means... 

F o r   Y o u  N o t h i n g .  

F o r  M e 

N e v e r   T r u s t   I t
O p e n  H e a r t e d . 

( R e m e m b e r 
F o r g o t t e n . )



Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Realities Dream

Childish Dreams
The sad and the melancholy... 
Memories of two belonging 

Forevermore. 

Magnificent colours in fictional drawings
The crepuscular light.  

The world's mask a fake, she said so much yet so little
Happy are friends whom don't see in present day...
Shadow lines of the sun I want to remember forgotten  
If and when or if I shall ever recover... 
Ever refrain... 
The storm will eventually drown my raincoat
And mother's hands will be to weak... 

Can't give back what you erased in me...
Can't see the need I have now 

On the lawn, in realities dream
Drive through the narrow path entering the cemetery
Sometime soon the mind won't be tricked into believing
To much weighs heavy on the conscious 
When the sky smiles, one single desire 
To dig me out of despair 

Or fall deeper...   

The Mindful


N o t h i n g   I s   T h e   S a m e

The soil, the earth...upon the tress 
Looking back through the then, ordinary leaves...
The symbol of a heart to heart, 
The reel to reel... 
Left to reasons though many of us don't question
Don't have the curiosity to read them 

A l l   A r o u n d  

The ghosts
The past... 
The haunted
Devoured 

Balance the vessel. 

(My dream in the garden with you.)

... 

My clothes now robes 
My skin now callous
I held virtue 
Possesses only the most sentimental things.
Take nothing for granted 

B u t   I   A m   H u m a n   J u s t   T h e   S a m e .

I am dying slowing... 
But I feel there will never be enough to say 

N e v e r   B e   E n o u g h   T o   F e e l .

The symbol of a heart to heart, 
The reel to reel... 

... 

Just wanting to step away from the sun and see the shadows
Against the endless mystery  

J u s t  W a n t i n g  T o  S t e p  A w a y 
S e e  T h e  S h a d o w s   
T h e   M i n d f u l   P o e t r y

Looking back through the then, ordinary leaves...

N o t h i n g   I s   T h e   S a m e . 

Monday, June 24, 2013

Reminiscent Of Old Books

If this may be the last of my days, if the last it be
The last...
I will drink my tea and smoke my pipe, religiously
To the saddest music I know...
And love everyone I love just a deeply and as strong
As the world I am sinking from...
Ignoring you cold, to the hand I can't touch...

Monuments seem larger at night
And eyes see gray in lines of heartbreaks and lust gone.
Less distinguished are the letters now,
Reminiscent of old books...
We belong together if not just by words we share...
B u t  H o w e v e r 
T h a t   M a y  N e v e r  B e . . . 
No one wins, no one's failure... 
And I can't live to not speak or sleep with memories of awakening...

((DYING.))

H e a r  T h e m  I n  W h i s p e r s
K n o w  M y  P r a y e r  T o  C o n t i n u e  L i v i n g...
I s  J u s t  A  P r a y e r . . .

F A L L , F A L L , FA L L
F A L L , F A S T E R , A S L E E P.

GRACIOUSNESS 

Wind will carry me through this tortured romance
One sign of weakness and back into the heartfelt pages...

(Back into the silent patient
Looking to cope what cannot be healed in one day)

NO TOMORROW 

You wear the cross around your neck to symbolize faith
But still... what some indescribable things happened
Was so strangely seen... by someone. by calm eyes
NOT ME.

But still... what some indescribable things happened
Was so strangely seen...

We search for and we believe for
Unknowing.


Monuments seem larger at night
And eyes see gray in lines of heartbreaks and lust gone.
Less distinguished are the letters now,

Reminiscent of old books...

Saturday, June 22, 2013

W r e c k a g e

E n o u g h  O f  T h e  W r e c k a g e

That amounts to nothing in the little spectrum 
I n v e r t e d
I felt the shaking limbs, like I was held up on one thought
Sped through the light valley's of golden sunrays 
One day in youth the glory was all we could feel
Now and then that feeling exists... 
But it is shadowed by the backs of us.... 
Shadowed by what we don't know of that unknown fear
But it's not weakness in the end... 

I promise you. 

...

Collide with me
Just a vision on a journey through the mindfulness...
The light will cross through this churchyard
Leading to the woods
And the crosses will ascend high
The greater good 

And from these hopeless demons  
Without ever a thought to dwell upon the time we are here. 
The heart has been made to a wide open inner light

That amounts to everything in the little spectrum 
O f  D i v i n e . . .   

The heart has been paved so no one will walk on it again...

I promise you.

 E n o u g h  O f  T h e  W r e c k a g e 

Set in Gray

In darkness matter 
The boats of the oceans 
Drown in the moon's orbit
And the loneliest wake to revive the dreams 
That would have been if the sun hadn't set in gray 

Every time... 

I  Fe e l  I n  L i f e  A g a i n .


Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Become my Strength

Become my strength
Warm pillow on the crepuscular night
I pay my bill, work for no one
Have no place to be...
Always felt time was irrelevant
But now the hourglass is clean 
And my eyes are blind to be seen
Blind to anyone... 
Blind to see the true meaning...

Between over thought and fear of myself.  

With each light there's a flood of darkness 
With every sign there's a bridge to cross it...
But my legs won't keep moving this way...
And the words only occupy the pain.
F o r  S u c h  A  S h o r t  T i m e. 

Always thought I'd keep my grace forever, 
Believed in the simple things that kept life stable.
But then I refuged into bliss that was never real... 
And now I hold keys to doors that only unlock more fear... 
The lines are drawn and I can't cross over them. 

Can't speak my mind,
Can't hide from ignoring this?

Always dreamed I'd do something worth living for
Something truly passionate...
That needs no attention...  
But that gets harder and more threatening everyday. 
    
Now and then we make believe.

The sky is falling...

But I am only falling from the peace I've lost within. 

B e c o m e  M y  S t r e n g t h . 



Monday, June 17, 2013

B r o k e n

F r a g m e n t s 
O f  W o r d s 
Co m e  i n t o  F r a m e 
A smile in the rain, replaced by tears
Refreshed by senses often felt 
Insomnia of the night is young and I am born 
Before the suffering is over...

The thoughts never end.  

A pill dissolves the moonlight
Sufficient liquid measure in a bottle cap 
Empty's 
A drop falls from the window sill 
A feather into the open space 
Now losses it's meaning. 

What am I? 
What has become? 

Different symptoms I've never felt before...
Don't play this game anymore,
To quiet the mind is often to no avail...
And I wonder if the progress they teach 
Will ever get through to me... 
As stubborn as I felt when it was time to learn... 

I stayed away... 

Tried to understand 

T h e  F r a g m e n t s 
O f  W o r d s 

B r o k e n  U p  I n s i d e 
W h a t  H a s  A l w a y s  B e e n  B r o k e n

 The thoughts never end.  




Sunday, June 16, 2013

Solitary Ice Cap

Is it okay to walk out in the cold
N i g h t... 
Alone with the fog...
And the silver blue dream? 
I wait for eyes across the sky like stars
We drink from
S o l i t a r y  I c e  C a p .

I kneel on glass and altars deceived from
You bless this glass I drink from
And your blood in time that heals 
Passion brought me here to this life and passion will set me free

Within this body... all that's within
E x h a l e. 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Untouched

Heaven unlock a door for me
Old movies on silver screens...
Am I holy, worthy, accepted...
In peace? 
No more dependence 
The weight of the earth is free 
To a feather of another 
Leaf of a tree
Branch of the bridge uncrossed 
Whispers on the waters reflection 
 Two souls and an open book
Untouched... 

Extending the years before me 
And even after I'm gone...

Heaven unlock the door. 


Monday, June 10, 2013

The Illusion In His Eyes

Listening to my father play guitar...
From the room where God's presences was once there...
Strong when I was a born, looking up over the mirror 
To his reflection starring down on the earth
Like he had painted the reasons but had never shared 
The illusion in his eyes...

His feet, his palms... 

Each breath I breathe is stress and fear 
More and more 
The end is pressing... 
I hug my mother and smile as she explains the light.

The oval shaped light is the love of God.
It permeates your being like a sponge 
It soaks up all the things that are negative in your body
It heals, soothes and relieves all stress, anxiety, fear
It replaces it with possessive energy, 
Relaxes, brings happiness back inside. 

...

B e f o r e   T h e   N i g h t f a l l   O f   T h e  E a r t h  
M o s t l y   A s l e e p 
T h e   M i n d   A w a k e 
T o  A  B e a t i n g   H e a r t  O f   C o n f l i c t. 
 A n d  A  S o u l  T h at  L o n g s  T o  S e e 

T h e   I l l u s i o n   T h a t   H e   S e e s . . .


Sunday, June 9, 2013

On Graves and Fallen Limbs


Overnight meetings with shadows 
On graves and fallen limbs...
I was once the outer fog walking through
Now I am just the fog of every other passing through

Passing by... 

(Bye bye...)

I know no one feels me...
Not to the touch, no more significant sound in the room
The music plays in the hall, under floor boards 
(Check for the heart, the old style turn table)
The scent we're always driven too 
The youngest memories 
Even the minor details...
All my books still writing on the self. 

And I've been dead for years. 

What a fool to drift like this, over time
Someone's always drifting from me...  
As I try to steer a whirlwind of broken dreams
Over the roof to free me from failure over-again   

To free me from disease.    

Now I am just the fog of every other passing through

Passing by... 

I know no one feels me...

But I know what it means to love 

... 

A l l   o f   U s  
T h a t   N e v e r   W e r e 

G i v e n  

S h a d o w s 

O n   G r a v e s   a n d   F a l l e n   L i m b s . . .



( B y e   B y e . . .) 


Friday, June 7, 2013

Tragic Divide

We are clearly out of the frame, this Sunday
Scissors cutting me out from within a shape
Rolled into the palms of your hands.... 
  
Leaving my tie where it never hung
Leaving my shoes unshinned 
And my suitcase marked...

Having no place to be where I'm needed.
There is a room that awaits you
Expects your arrival but do you really belong there?

When does the emptiness agree?  
Or the heart of passion argue?

Is this a full time career...?

We are clearly out of the frame, this Sunday
Scissors cutting me out from within a shape
Rolled into the palms of your hands.... 
  
Leaving my tie where it never hung... 

And our art just a peace of mind

Who will endure?

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Escape

Somewhere this lantern always burns 
I make no mistake in not answering myself 
The time for darkness awaits 
Sure my mind is drifting, 
Always speeding through dismay 
I have to want this, 
But now I don't want anything... 

I need and the need is gone. 

The prayer and the prayer unanswered

What was the purpose and why can't I suffer further?  
Likely I am draw to the same conclusion 
To fight all these misfortunes and not look beyond the failure... 
The thought is never far...
No more distractions... 

The light escapes into and out of soul. 

I make no mistake in not answering myself.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

The Tapering Off

Hey, little one
You are not forgotten 
Sleeping in the afternoon glow 
Under stars, the trees, the moon
Of love you're feeling...
Of a memory holding strong 

The earth unbalanced 

That sweet release...

-O f   M y  S o u l

T a p e r i n g  O f f

S o m e t i m e s   S u d d e n 

L i k e 

T h e  n i g h t i n g a l e  i n  s p r i n g 


T h e  L i n e s  T h e  C a p t i o n s 

C a n   Y o u   M a k e   T h e m  O u t ? 

W i s p e r s  U n d o n e 

T h e  M a g i c  A l w a y s  A n  I l l u s i o n s  

O f   T h e  A r t 

T h e   B i g   P i c t u r e 


NOW WE SEEM TO READ ABOUT OUR LOVE 

LIKE IT ONCE WAS THE WHOLE FRAME 

THE WHOLE BOOK AND NOT JUST A PAGE 

OR A FRACTION OF THE MEANING LOST 

BROKEN HEARTS

N o w   J u s t   F r a g m e n t s 

...

Hey, little one
You are not forgotten 
Sleeping in the afternoon glow 
Under stars, the trees, the moon
Of love you're feeling...
Of a memory holding strong...

The mind unbalanced 

 That sweet release...


O f   M y  S o u l

T a p e r i n g  O f f




Smoke and Mirrors


Your forbidden lover speaks through these words, become ours....
I am held behind a mask 
Of smoke and mirrors....
Remember when you led me through the rain....?

There was something in the depth me 
I couldn't reach
To touch the soul, wrapped around my fingers 
Tied again. 
But still couldn't keep the blood flow in my heart 
From freezing...

Remember when you led me through the rain....?

Trevor James & Alec Wildey

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Worlds Passionate

Sadness for all this believing and unbelieving
Everything dwells upon, beyond, within to... others identities 
Raise with the storm, together harmony our lost souls 
And the space between, shines dark blue beyond unseen 
So far, the needle the thread... 
Above and below 
And rain falls thunder under passionate tears...

Worlds Passionate.

Facets


From one facet to the other
In these days of rediscovered failure
My fear... blow me away. the winds, the birds cry 
Softly as the sun reappears the morning
The mouring...  
New lows... to new highs, and the old ones 
Repressing motives 
Trauma without absolute belief...  
Shallow sorrow 
Sorry as the open eyes you see through to me...
The prisoner of my own disease. 

The writers palms lay flat the beating hearts accelerated.

...

Not to numb by now to forget 
And seemingly the love is just the air we breathe...
Sometimes it feels like there's none...
Or too much 
And i'm just the one holding my breath unknowingly. 

s e e m i n g l y 

t h e 

l o v e 

i s 

j u s t 

t h e 

a i r

w e 

b r e a t h . 


Sunday, June 2, 2013

F r a g m e n t s

These are the f r a g m e n t s 
Each one created us at some point or  a n o t h e r 
To envision us as the elder... 
Looking into the infants eyes 
Just wondering when the first thoughts registered... 
Until the final memory of life

Over the years the seasons bring 
Different comfort 
To seek out the joy and warmth 
Never without family... love in each of us.

Though mostly alone inside...
Without companion. 
The earth more and more still at night
As the silence drifts in endless openings 
Leading back to the door we closed.  

The heartbeats and the cemeteries...
I swear there will come a day...  
Walking the blind path through each misery 
Realizing the light you thought you lost 
Was always there. 

These are the f r a g m e n t s 
Each one created us at some point or  a n o t h e r 
To envision us as the elder... 
Looking into the infants eyes 

... 

N o w  I  s l e e p , 
A n d  h a v e  s w e p t  t h e  s u n  a w a y 
W i t h  e y e s  o p e n  b r i e f l y
W i t h  w i n d o w s  t o  t h e  o t h e r  s i d e 

M y  l o s s,  m a y b e  t h e  e n d e a v o r . . .  

Until the final meaning of life.